{gloaters}

Gloating is a terrible thing!!! It really can demonstrate the uglier side of a person. I am definitely ANTI-GLOATING. That being said, please be advised this entire entry will be dedicated to exactly that…..gloating…..that horrible, ugly trait that we discourage our children from exhibiting when they win a game for example.

Mikayla is usually the queen of gloating in our household. She does not hesitate to do an “I won” dance or give a loud hoot & holler when she beats us in what was supposed to be a friendly game of UNO. See exhibits A & B below.

It is not uncommon for her victory dance to be followed by my lecture explaining the finer points of winning gracefully. It goes something like this, “Mikayla, when you win a game, it’s OK to feel good abo “WOO, WOO, I WON…..I’M THE UNO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(That is her interrupting my skilled parenting lecture).

Here I think I’ll try again. “Mikayla, really I want to explain… “NOT NOW MOM, I’M DOING MY UNO CHAMPION DANCE!!”

So…. while I strongly discourage my children from gloating, there arise certain opportunities in life that cannot be ignored and call for exactly that which I so strongly discourage…GLOATING.

Right about now, you may be thinking.....

What is she babbling on & on about?

Why this sermon on the evils of gloating?

GET TO THE POINT!! Ok, ok if you insist!!

So here it is. I will now gloat, revel, take pride, triumph in the fact that (drum roll please)....

I DID NOT DO THIS!!!!

OR THIS

OR EVEN THIS!

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. (say it like a true grammar school cheerleader while doing Milayla's victory dance!)

Her comes MORE GLOATING…….

IT WASN’T ME!!!!!!

• I ONLY BACK UP (and slowly at that) INTO MAILBOXES & SMALLER CARS.

• I DON’T DO MAJOR ­DAMAGE!!!!!
  

• I ONLY GET HARMLESS LITTLE SPEEDING TICKETS THAT REQUIRE ME TO GIVE UP 4 HOURS OF MY LIFE AT TRAFFIC SCHOOL.
  

But hey, compared to this what’s a little ticket? (let’s look at it again shall we?)

AHHH, the joy of gloating!! Does it always feel this good? No wonder Mikayla ignores my pleas to be graceful.

Now, many of you may be wondering,

“Well, if Gina, the best driver that ever lived in God’s Country, didn’t do this, who in tarnation did????”

Please refer to exhibit C for the answer.

Yes, it’s true. This hunka, hunka burning love backed my van up into his brother’s hunka, hunka trucking truck!! AND HIS BROTHER WASN’T EVEN PARKED DIRECTLY BEHIND HIM!!! Excuse me, while I have another laughing fit! I do apologize for being so gloaty, but I don’t often get the chance. I am hahahahaha (sorry!) happy to report no damage was incurred to my brother-in-law’s truck!

So for today…. I AM THE BETTER DRIVER. PERIOD!! Gloating over. Bye.